It’s something I remind myself and other people regularly;
I can do hard things/you can do hard things!
AND it’s true. Today’s article is inspired by a gorgeous client who has ran a demanding half marathon this morning. She’s been out there on the trails trackling terrain and elevation that’s challenging. She can do hard things. She’s done it. I sent her a wee voice mail to remind her of that. I’ve told lots of other people this week that they can do hard things too.
We may well be facing things that we haven’t faced before but we do have evidence that we have navigate stuff that was hard before. We have done things that we didn’t think we could, we have come out of the other side of stuff that’s tested us and asked questions of us. Physically & mentally we’ve done stuff that we hadn’t done before, that we were unsure about, that asked us to step up a wee bit (or a ginormous bit).
Hard things develop character. I used to roll my eyes when my Dad would refer to weather conditions or situations as “character building” but now I get it. We learn a lot about ourselves (if we allow ourselves to see those lessons), we expand our comfort zones & we draw on skill sets that perhaps we didn’t know we had.
AND everyone’s stuff is big stuff. It’s not a competition as to who has had to navigate the hardest stuff. It’s not about only certain things qualify as being hard stuff. It’s all dependant, it’s all based on your own reality tinted glasses (i.e. the stuff you’ve had to navigate before, the life experiences you’ve had).
Some of the big stuff that’s supported me navigating hard stuff could be seen as pailing into insignificance compared to other people’s hard stuff and equally you could read about it and think eeee jeez, that’s proper hard stuff. Some stuff I won’t recognise as the hard stuff I’ve navigated in my world that could be huge or stuff I feel has been biggies that could be see as ridiculous. Don’t judge people’s hard stuff and don’t try to minimise your hard stuff. If it’s hard for you (or for them) at that time then it’s hard stuff. IT’S NOT A COMPETITION!
Anyhaps, I know we are nosey when we read things like this so we wanna know what the hard stuff is! As humans we are curious beings.
The hard stuff that I’d say has defined me, that has allowed me to learn stacks about me, that has empowered me when it comes to navigating hard stuff probably stems predominantly from my early 20s. At the age of 24 I was a newly qualified lawyer, I was living my dream, it wasn’t full blown Ally McBeal (I am acutely aware that that reference dates me significantly too) but I loved it!
I’d been on holiday to the Caribbean. Everything was working out! I was hitting my mid 20s with my shit together!
Then I started to develop a back ache. By a Sunday evening that backache was acute. I ended up at A&E that night and was given anti-biotics for a urine infection. Fast forward to the Wednesday and I was in intensive care in an induced coma being treated for sepsis with multiple organ failure and acute respiratory distress syndrome.
It took over a week to be well enough to be woken up, moved from full intubation to a Tracheotomy, to breathing for myself and then having to learn to walk again. Even upon returning home I was so weak that I couldn’t pick up the kettle when it had water in it.
I was told I was brave often ~ I wasn’t, I was dealing with the hand I had been dealt.
I was asked “do you ask, why me?” To which my response was always “why not me?”
I was determined to get better.
I set tiny targets every day.
Initially I couldn’t be left alone as I couldn’t climb the stairs.
I wanted to climb the stairs, I wanted to pick up the kettle, I wanted to be able to walk to the front gate. THEN I wanted to walk to the gate of next door, then the neighbours 2 down, then a wee bit further, then the end of the street.
I can draw on determination and tenacity. I can do hard things. If I set my mind to shit then I can do it.
I can do hard things!
You can too!
>> Read Anna’s Story, She Can Do Hard Things
>> Read My Ugly Crying Article – that day was a hard thing
>> Read Holly’s letter to herself from 2017, she can do hard things
